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As Mother's Day approaches, I find myself reflecting on the invaluable lessons my mom taught me about leadership simply by being herself. My parents started, owned, and operated a small business for nearly 40 years, so growing up I was immersed in a world where business and personal connection intertwined seamlessly. It took my own time in the business world to recognize the profound impact of the compassionate leadership style my mom embodied - to make people feel seen. Effective leadership seizes opportunities to see and be seen as you create belonging within your team.
One of the most remarkable aspects of my mom's leadership was her ability to make people feel seen. In a world where individuals often feel overlooked, her deliberate efforts to connect and acknowledge others set her apart as a leader. My mom lived with a warmth and competence that social psychologist, Amy Cuddy, has clarified as a foundation for leadership trust. Through simple yet powerful acts of kindness, my mom cultivated a culture of belonging that enriched the lives of those around her.
In this month's blog post, I share three examples from my mom’s life that helped people feel seen and how applying these simple principles can enhance your own leadership effectiveness without too much effort.
Express Gratitude.
My mom wrote heartfelt thank you notes with beautiful sentiments and penmanship. Thank you notes were a way for her to show gratitude and care for those she encountered, and she instilled this practice and the importance of expressing gratitude in me. As a child, I viewed writing thank you notes as a chore, yet over time it turned into a meaningful practice of acknowledging the contributions of others to my life and my work. Because writing thank you notes is done after the immediate moment of contribution has passed, the reflection and the act are a true investment in a relationship that matters to you. Research from Harvard Health supports mom’s practice: expressing gratitude in a thank you note has a positive impact on both the recipient and the writer!
3 ideas to express gratitude that help differentiate you as a caring leader:
Create a recurring practice to send a note of appreciation to someone on your team each week, highlighting the difference they made.
Send a hype email to a superior about a team member’s impactful contributions and copy the one being celebrated.
Incorporate victories and celebrations as a meeting agenda item.
Call Them by Name.
One of my mom's simple yet effective practices was to address people by their names. To her, a nametag was an invitation to connect. Whether it was a technician in the building or a customer at an event, she made a point of using peoples’ names to engage in conversation. Deliberately paying attention when names are shared requires effort, a thoughtful show of respect and sincere interest in the other person. While not remembering someone’s name at first introduction is a difficult cognitive task for most of us (according to neuroscience), repeatedly forgetting someone’s name shows a lack of effort for truly connecting. Demonstrate respect by using names with intention to help them stick in your mind and let the other person know you see them.
3 ideas to call them by name that make you a memorable leader:
When being introduced to someone new, make a point to repeat their name and use it in the interaction to help with recall later.
When visiting a worksite, request a photo org chart prior to your visit so you have time to review the names and faces before arriving.
When you are involved in event planning, recommend name tags be used to facilitate easier connections.
Show Up.
Perhaps the most profound lesson my mom taught me was the importance of being present. She made the effort to make the call, offer a hand, attend the event, or send the card. Guided by her core values, she was usually thinking of someone other than herself. Whether she was listening attentively, offering words of encouragement and appreciation, or conveying compassion through loss or mistakes, she was present. She showed up and remained approachable, and sometimes that was all that was needed to encourage others to persevere. Today’s world is lonely, showing up is an investment in others that says, “I’m here and I have a genuine interest in you".
3 ideas to show up that make you a dependable leader:
Acknowledge their contributions in a meeting, even a smile and nod of approval in the moment can make someone feel seen and included.
Use your position as a platform for helping high performers get connected to next level opportunities.
Make time to sit with and intentionally get to know others on your team.
As I celebrate Mother's Day and reflect on my mom's legacy, I’m struck by the influence she has had on my leadership effectiveness. I credit much of my confidence to the way she made me feel seen and known. My mom's unwavering commitment to making others feel seen serves as a guiding light in my leadership coaching business today. May my mom’s kind approach and the simple lessons shared in this blog post inspire you to lead with empathy and authenticity. Our lonely and uncertain world needs basic kindness.
This May, let us honor the remarkable women who have shaped our lives and leadership paths. To all leaders who take the time to notice others, thank you for leading with grace, wisdom, and warmth - your effort to see others makes business better for everyone.
I coach growth-minded professionals to lead well, get recognized, and thrive. As a leadership coach, I offer perspective, accountability, feedback, encouragement, and additional possibilities. I'd love to chat with you about how I can accelerate your journey to leadership at the next level.
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