%20copy.jpg)
Conflicts are an inevitable part of any environment where human beings come together. Whether it’s in the workplace, within a community, or among friends, differences in backgrounds, beliefs, and goals can lead to tensions that need to be addressed. Addressing conflict can forge stronger bonds whereas avoiding can fracture relationships.
Too often we dread these high stakes situations so much we do nothing, letting them snowball into something even bigger and scarier. Delaying resolution efforts may happen for a variety of reasons, but the most prevalent reasons why many told me (in my 2/2024 unscientific LinkedIn poll on the topic) they choose to avoid the conflict was 1. fear and 2. indifference/apathy. (For the purpose of this article, let’s assume that the indifference/apathy is rooted in burnout or an unsatisfying job and not an underlying medical condition.) Whether choosing avoidance to mitigate feelings of danger (fear) or exhaustion (indifference/apathy), bitterness and pain grow the longer resolution is ignored. Don’t let fear paralyze you, try out Tim Ferris’ “fear-setting” exercise to spark action now. Resolution requires courage to be sure, and with practice, we can build the courage muscle to become more self-aware, calm our heightened emotions, and resolve conflict more constructively and consistently.
This leadership effectiveness coaching blog delves into several root causes of conflicts prevalent in today’s work environment, some actionable initial steps for resolving conflicts that help minimize confrontations and it includes prompts to improve self-awareness to ease conflict and resolution moving forward.
| ROOT CAUSE | STARTER ACTION STEP | SELF-AWARENESS PROMPT |
1. | Unclear expectations. | Acknowledge it. | Prioritize people over tasks. |
2. | Inflexibility. | Communicate privately. | Become an asset. |
3. | Competing priorities. | Seek understanding. | Aim for progress. |
4. | Workload imbalance. | Find common ground. | Focus on long-term success. |
5. | Controversial topics. | Bring in perspectives. | Reframe as learning. |
6. | Hyper-competitiveness. | Pause and reflect. | Consider your reputation. |
7. | Knowledge gaps. | Adjust the plan. | Expand your perspective. |
1. Unclear expectations -> Acknowledge it -> Prioritize people over tasks. Today’s ever-changing business environment often brings uncertainty and discomfort because expectations keep shifting. Tough conversations are unavoidable in transformative environments where clarity and visibility can be hindered by gaps in communication. Restate each viewpoint for confirmation, acknowledging the tension and its impact openly at the outset to queue a shared problem instead of a personal attack. You’ll have greater trust for the ongoing partnership by acknowledging it. Identifying the need for change or calling it out as soon as it is recognizable sends a collaborative message of “we’re in this together”. How often do you check in with team members about plans and progress?
2. Inflexibility -> Communicate privately -> Become an asset. Hardened minds (and hearts) are inflexible and, at times, emotional. With a nod to keeping the peace, it’s tempting to let the situation run its course. Unfortunately, staying silent usually makes the situation worse, inviting gossip and passive-aggressive behaviors that erode trust and grow dissatisfaction. Addressing one on one, in a nonjudgemental tone, and in private initially can help minimize escalation. A private meeting with someone set in their position creates an opening to address the impact of their rigidity and work through other potential misunderstandings on a quest for positive change. If this was your company, what action would you take for long-term progress?
3. Competing priorities -> Seek understanding -> Aim for progress. Categorizing people into opposing groups sets the stage for conflict. Even departmental or functional teams can bring opposing priorities to a project. An ‘Us vs. Them’ mentality inherently creates division and conflict is more likely. Seeking to understand others’ goals by listening well, asking questions, and delving deeper into the priorities of all involved promotes empathy and improves understanding. Will a discussion be easier now – less emotional, easier to adjust, and longer-term satisfactory – than waiting until ‘you’re ready’?
4. Workload imbalance -> Find common ground -> Focus on long-term success. Workloads can easily become imbalanced with today’s shifting talent landscape and the hyperfocus on productivity and accountability. As pressure mounts, tolerance and patience erode, leading to bitterness and resentment. Forge alliances amidst the stress by identifying even small pockets of agreement. Taking time to find the common ground improves the collaborative spirit needed for resolution. Consensus on a way forward is a healthy outcome, even if complete agreement is not possible. Will avoidance resolve or simply prolong the issue, and will avoidance allow for your/the business’ long-term success?
5. Controversial topics -> Bring in perspectives -> Reframe as learning. Total harmony at all times is unrealistic, and discussions on controversial subjects without clear plans are especially uncomfortable and tense. It is tempting to react defensively around these sensitive topics. Without getting bogged down by too much input, draw everyone together by bringing evidence of the issue and different viewpoints or levels of expertise to the table. If necessary, involve others to gain additional insights and diverse perspectives while staying focused on progress. How can you reframe conflict as an opportunity to learn and grow instead of as a barrier to success?
6. Hyper-competitiveness -> Pause and reflect -> Consider your reputation. Highly competitive work settings create pressure that can breed confrontation and conflict. Calmly discussing conflicting perspectives and holding space to rationally consider the information is a safer approach to partnering with others. Convene the stakeholders to collect the facts and potential solutions and then call a recess to allow time for everyone to absorb what was shared. This extra time and reflection will return cooler heads when the meeting reconvenes to finalize the go-forward plan. How might pausing and reflecting, as well as your overall approach to conflict, impact your leadership reputation and credibility?
7. Knowledge gaps -> Adjust the plan -> Expand your perspective. Human beings are unique individuals with a variety of experiences and viewpoints, not always possessing the same information or expertise to navigate the challenges faced. Tensions escalate when these differences are ignored or neglected. Take time to actively listen to understand the other person’s perspective, acknowledge their experiences, and uncover the missing information needed for progress. With this context, plans can be adjusted to account for the now known gaps. Who are you listening to (peer group, social media, inner dialogue, etc.) that might be limiting your perspective instead of opening your mind?
Multiple root causes may converge in a single instance. A single starter action step might not bring resolution closer. Consider these suggestions for leadership effectiveness like an a la carte menu – choose one item, mix and match, or have it all. The key is to recognize that avoiding conflicts weakens collaboration and misses opportunities. With practice, motivation and engagement improve and communication channels open more fluidly. As with all healthy relationships, remember that at the end of any conflict discussion, the ability to peacefully move forward without holding onto animosity will create the greatest opportunity for satisfaction.
In conclusion, conflict resolution is a vital skill for any leader aiming to foster a collaborative and productive environment. By understanding various reasons behind conflicts and employing effective strategies for resolution – like communication, sensitivity, empathy, collaboration, problem solving, time management, and inclusivity - you can transform conflicts into trust-building opportunities that drive positive outcomes. Apply these insights today to lead well, get recognized, and thrive.
I coach growth-minded professionals to lead well, get recognized, and thrive. As a leadership coach, I offer perspective, accountability, feedback, encouragement, and additional possibilities. I'd love to chat with you about how I can accelerate your journey to leadership at the next level.
Comentarios