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Self-development is about owning our growth and future by seizing control of our destiny…no better time than a New Year! Professional growth involves acquiring additional skills and cultivating meaningful connections. In a previous Leadership Coaching blog post, I shared steps to take to grow a career through self-development. In the post, I recommend that after reflecting on our strengths and weaknesses and then defining our goals, we must gather feedback to inform our learning and experiential priorities.
The truth is, many of us get stuck in the reflecting stage of gaining self-development and awareness, floundering to collect useful feedback, and then struggling to digest others’ perceptions of us. Because we’re stuck here, we are not equipped to take the necessary next steps for growth. Psychology Today emphasizes “feedback should be your number one personal and professional development hack”. The new year is a great time to try on courage.
Mid-career and higher professionals have difficulty receiving meaningful, actionable feedback. In fact, in a 2022 field study published by American Psychological Association, just 2.6% of experiment participants provided feedback to others unsolicited, even though it would have helped the other person fix a problem. Without the self-awareness of how we fit into our environment, we can’t be sure we are addressing our greatest developmental needs. Even generally asking for feedback often results in a response that barely skims the surface of what is useful. By thoughtfully requesting feedback, we can receive it more consistently and constructively. Today’s leadership coaching blog post provides 7 suggestions for requesting the feedback needed to guide a development journey. Read on for how to ask for feedback so you can thrive.
1. Ask for advice, instead of feedback.
· By asking for advice instead of feedback you are opening a communal dialogue, supporting our innate need for belonging. With advice, you are also communicating that you value the person’s opinion, making them more likely to talk (because it’s framed in a way that makes your inquiry about them!). Forward-looking advice eliminates the discomfort of criticism that short-circuits most feedback.
· Suggestions for starting: Ask “I’d love your advice, what would you have done differently if you were in my shoes?” or “I’ll be presenting next week, could I schedule 10 minutes with you to get your advice on my planned approach?”
2. Participate in a 360° Assessment.
· Growth-minded professionals engage a third-party to administer a 360° assessment for anonymous, yet specific feedback about their performance. Comprehensive feedback on behavioral, competency, and results-based performance from a variety of rater groups, including Superiors, Peers, Direct Reports, and themselves gives a full picture (360°!) of their performance to date. Anonymity makes it more comfortable for Raters to be honest.
· Suggestions for starting: Engage a leadership coach to facilitate the feedback and partner for addressing the development opportunities or inquire with your HR Department about options offered through your organization.
3. Join a mentoring program/relationship.
· Formal mentoring programs usually have an application process, which is an opportunity to clearly state your desire for constructive feedback as part of the relationship. Then at the outset with your mentor, you can restate your desire for constructive feedback. In each subsequent check-in, explain the feedback you’ve received from them previously and how you’ve acted upon it. Your intentional focus on feedback will push your mentor to honor this goal.
· Suggestions for starting: Explore mentoring programs within and outside of your organization, confirming the program’s intention is developmental or request mentoring by a superior you respect for both their candor and results.
4. Capitalize on the Annual Performance Review.
· At most corporates, Annual Performance Reviews are a conversation between manager and employee about performance impact and growth potential and sometimes also include compensation decisions. Join the review with a goal to promote trust and strengthen the team, by thoroughly participating in the self-assessment (usually required before the meeting) and being prepared to initiate a discussion of what’s working well and what’s not working so well.
· Suggestions for starting: Include in your self-assessment ideas or inquiries for stretch assignments or level up your goals to open the door for candid feedback and a discussion about readiness and opportunities.
5. Listen and say thank you.
· Defensiveness is a common problem, especially for perfectionists, when receiving feedback. Feedback channels can be shut down because of an early negative reaction in a relationship. Prioritize relational trust with both your manager and your team from the outset to view the feedback as benefiting the team and not personal. When you are being given feedback, look beyond yourself to the broader team, and simply say “thank you”.
· Suggestions for starting: When receiving feedback, whether solicited or not, listen attentively and then say “thank you” or ask for examples if you are emotionally able and express a sincere “thank you” if you ever hope for more.
6. Take a “poll”.
· When you are clear about your career ambitions, ask a diverse slate of stakeholders for their perspective on your readiness in 6-12 months (or longer). Framing your inquiry as a long-term goal creates a ‘safety buffer’ because longer term feedback is more comfortable to share. When you’ve connected with 3-5 stakeholders, suss out the patterns and themes you hear to prioritize your next steps for development.
· Suggestions for starting: Interview stakeholders with diverse perspectives on your aspirational role, ask them about what they think it takes to be successful in the role and what you might need to learn or do differently to be ready.
7. Take an honest look in the mirror.
· When we’re honest with ourselves, we can identify some growth areas based on what we know of our current life experiences and where we ultimately want to go. Every experience is an opportunity to learn something, and learning about yourself can be empowering. A thoughtful self-assessment can direct your steps to the next opportunity for you to get involved, helping you discover more about your values, your skills, and motivations for refining your goals.
· Suggestions for starting: Define clear and achievable goals for yourself and then identify 1-3 skill gaps you need to address or identify assignments that will allow you to gain critical experience you recognize you are lacking.
Self-development is about owning our future. Unfavorable feedback, a reality none of us are immune to, can be difficult to digest yet is often just what we need to hear to thrive. Consider opportunities to address feedback as an experiment for a “new you”! By consistently soliciting feedback, we assume control of our growth, build a reputation as a learner, and can accumulate skills and experiences that enhance our professional value.
Let the New Year launch a commitment to your self-development journey. Remember, the path to success is not just about reaching the destination; it's about evolving and growing along the way. Empower your growth through feedback and watch as you transform into a next level leader. Recognize that there is always room for improvement for everyone, and what better time to embark on this journey than the dawn of a New Year?
I coach growth-minded professionals to lead well, get recognized, and thrive. As a coach, I offer perspective, accountability, feedback, encouragement, and additional possibilities. I'd love to chat with you about how I can accelerate your journey to leadership at the next level.
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