Don’t Let Challenges with Interpersonal Relationships Derail Your Career

"One of the defining features of hierarchy is that you take the powerful and exciting jobs for yourself and impose the crummy tasks on others." -Melinda Gates (shark in the water)

The quality of our relationships can significantly impact our overall well-being and success. Relationships shape how we communicate, collaborate, and create meaningful connections with others. However, when we neglect activities that nurture connection, we sabotage our growth and aspirations.

Interpersonal relationship problems in business can have significant consequences for individuals and the organization. Making direct reports and peers feel ignorant, unseen, or irrelevant, makes it tough to build meaningful relationships. Even minor misunderstandings start becoming major problems with an abrasive, pompous, or dismissive style. Over time as you exhibit problematic interpersonal behaviors, your credibility diminishes, and you are deemed unsuitable to follow. These derailing behaviors often hamper overall productivity and have a negative impact on organizational culture too. It is essential to address these issues promptly and proactively to continue your leadership journey.

These behaviors, sadly, are the ones people are most likely to avoid addressing with you, usually because it’s uncomfortable or too time-consuming. So you have to pay attention to how you are being received by others, and invite in objective feedback often. Self-awareness is key for you to lead well and thrive. In this blog post, I will illuminate some troublesome behaviors in interpersonal relationship building and offer suggestions for fostering a more harmonious and constructive work environment.

Arrogance – Asserting Superiority vs. Building Rapport Arrogance often stems from the need for superiority and validation, leading individuals to devalue the contributions of others and adopt a dictatorial approach. Some examples of arrogance in action are needing to add your opinion to every situation, withholding information so you retain the advantage over others, not listening to others’ viewpoints. Leadership arrogance creates a power dynamic that places the individual in competition with others on the team or project. To combat this behavior, here are some solutions:

• Seek Feedback and Adapt: Welcome feedback from others and use it as a tool for personal growth to help deflate arrogance and encourage humility.

• Recognize Others' Contributions: Acknowledge and appreciate the efforts and contributions of others to foster a sense of teamwork and equality. Give credit where it’s due and avoid taking sole credit for team achievements.

• Accept Criticism Gracefully: Instead of getting defensive, view criticism as valuable information that can help you improve. Embrace a growth mindset.

Emotionally Volatile – Navigating High-Stress Situations Emotionally volatile individuals tend to be unpredictable, adopting a bullying style under stress and becoming impatient during discussions. Some examples of emotional volatility in action are using anger or fear as a management tactic, routinely sarcastic or negative outlook, or highly reactive. Being emotionally volatile can lead to strained interactions, avoidance from others, and conflicts. To address this issue, try implementing the following strategies:

• Journal and Process Emotions: Keep a journal to track your emotional reactions and identify patterns and sources. Writing down feelings and thoughts can help process emotions in a healthier manner.

• Identify and Avoid Triggers: Recognize situations or topics that trigger intense emotions and find ways to navigate or avoid them when possible.

• Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist as a safe space to express emotions and gain perspective. This support may also offer helpful guidance.

• Practice Meditation and Gratitude: Incorporate mindfulness and breathing practices into your daily routine to promote emotional balance and resilience, making it easier to navigate tense situations.

Insecurity – Lacking Confidence vs. Building Trust Insecurity often masks a lack of confidence in oneself and/or others or from a lack of purpose and fulfillment. Some examples of insecurity in action are an overwhelming need to express how smart you are, taking credit for others’ work, or refusing to take responsibility by blaming others or the past. Unaddressed insecurity can undermine relationships, create barriers to effective communication, and erode culture. To combat feelings of insecurity, consider the following steps:

• Share Decision Making: Be willing to delegate tasks and share decision-making responsibilities to build trust among team members. Trust others’ expertise and input.

• Practice Active Listening: Pay attention and truly listen to others to understand their perspectives and feelings.

• Balance Work and Relationships: Prioritize getting to know others on your team as you work alongside them, valuing others and building cooperation.

• Learn to Trust: Recognize that trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship. Give others the benefit of the doubt and assume positive intent with your first response.

In conclusion, mastering interpersonal relationships requires self-awareness, intentional effort, and a willingness to grow. By addressing problematic behaviors like arrogance, emotional volatility, and insecurity, you can pave the way for healthier connections and a more positive impact on those around you.

Leaders savvy with interpersonal relationships, i) strive to relate well to all types of people, regardless of their background or position within the organization; ii) embrace diplomacy, tact, and genuine interest in understanding others’ needs; iii) develop the ability to address and diffuse high-tension situations comfortably and constructively, and iv) foster an environment of trust and confidence, through honesty and integrity, allowing all team members to thrive. Cultivating strong relationships not only enhances personal well-being but also enables you to be successful leading others. Don’t let challenges with interpersonal relationships derail your career, lead yourself well.

I coach growth-minded professionals to lead well, get recognized, and thrive. As a coach, I offer perspective, accountability, feedback, encouragement, and additional possibilities. I'd love to chat with you about how I can accelerate your journey to leadership at the next level.

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